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| Lyrics > B > Bob Rivers > Drink Beer | 0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z | |
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| Bob Rivers - Drink Beer Lyrics: | ||
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99, drink beer If I could offer you only one tip for the future beer would be it The long term benefits of beer have been proven by scientists Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable Than my own meandering experience I will dispense this advice now You are as fat as you imagine You really do look like your driver's license picture Do something about it No one wants to date a fat pig If inserting a seven inch iced tea spoon Down your throat to induce vomiting is what it takes Well then, so be it Do one thing every day that makes your mother ashamed Don't floss, wayward pieces of parsley and beef In your teeth really don't look that bad You've already had your turn at living in New York So leave, now, you're wasting space And breathing up all of our oxygen Go live in northern California But leave before you simultaneously die in an Earthquake and a gang related shooting http://www.free-lyrics.org/Bob-Rivers/40406-Drink-Beer.html Sometimes you'll be ahead Sometimes you'll be behind Sometimes you'll be on top Sometimes you'll be on bottom Smoke cigarettes with wrecklees abandon When you're speaking through a hole in your throat You can always sue the tobacco company And claim "I did not know it was bad for me" After all, ill gotten gain is what it's all about Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't Most likely you'll end up divorced With a litter of children that have eight different mothers And spend the rest of your life selling rip-off Gucci bags outside port authority to payoff Alimony and child support Don't even try to dance, you're a guy for God's sake Not even the electric slide at a wedding Read GQ magazine and strive to look like the guy on the cover Undergo elective reconstructive plastic surgury Including lypo suction and penis enlargement Make fun of old people, it's fun And understand that friends will stab you in the back For the price of an extra value meal And that flame broiled isn't always better Nevermind, but trust me on the beer View more Bob Rivers Song Lyrics: Bob Rivers - Hey Now You're A Porn Star Lyrics Bob Rivers - You Don't Smell Like Flowers Lyrics Bob Rivers - Little Billy's Willy Lyrics Bob Rivers - Tight Christmas Lyrics Bob Rivers - Little Hummer Girl Lyrics Bob Rivers - Feelin' Boobies Lyrics Bob Rivers - Walking In Women's Underwear Lyrics Bob Rivers - Not So Silent Night Lyrics Bob Rivers - Oops, I Farted Again Lyrics Bob Rivers - White Trash Christmas Lyrics |
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